


Bloody Red Version: The April Fool's Collection

by animatedrose



Series: Bloody Red Version [3]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blood, Gale and Wildfire not entirely being dicks, Gen, Non-Canon Content, Panic, Pranks, Revenge, Talon evolved between chapters 1 and 2, crackers, disconnect between game world and reality, fake snow, from my old fanfiction.net account, in-game character muteness, old, soaked by water, team shenanigans, unlikely to be continued
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:20:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25003774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animatedrose/pseuds/animatedrose
Summary: A collection of short stories involving pranks and such done by the cast of Pokemon: Bloody Red Version. You'll laugh, cry, and naturally be creeped out by the odd pranks concocted by Wildfire, Gale, Rocket, Talon, Zapper, Dune, and even Dante himself!
Series: Bloody Red Version [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783753





	1. Unidentified White Stuff

I sighed, slowly sitting up in bed. From what I could tell, I was still in the dreams because the room I was in wasn’t mine. I was in a Pokemon Center…again. I groaned, flopping back onto the mattress. I really wanted to go home.

Curled up on the bed with me were my Pokemon. At least, _most_ of them. Rocket, my Wartortle and starter Pokemon, was resting between me and the edge of the bed. Zapper, my Pikachu, was snoozing between me and the wall of the room. Dune, my Sandshrew (caught due to a glitch since they’re not in Red version), was snuggled up beside him. Talon, my Spearow, was perched on the headboard with his head buried in his chest, snoring away.

As for my other two Pokemon (both glitch Pokemon), they slept away from me and my other teammates. Gale, my Pidgeotto (evolved one level early due to a glitch probably based on the LeafGreen/FireRed rival’s Pidgeotto’s early evolution in Cerulean), was perched on a chair with his head under his wing. Wildfire, my Charmeleon (formerly my rival Rook’s before his supposed death), was curled up on the floor with his flaming tail tip close to his snout. He was probably trying to ensure he didn’t burn anything down while sleeping. That would be bad… _V_ _ery_ bad…

Since I had woken up already, my Pokemon (naturally) woke up not long after. Rocket sat up and sleepily rubbed his eyes. Dune rolled over, whining that he needed more sleep. Talon snapped awake, looked around, and then promptly went back to bed. Gale lifted his head, frowning at all the noise I had unintentionally created. Wildfire simply shifted his position and ignored us.

Zapper, on the other hand, was instantly wide awake. “Hey, come on, guys! Time to get up! Move it!” he demanded, jumping up and down in an attempt to get me and Dune up.

“Don’t wanna! Wanna _sleep_!” Dune complained, curling into an even tighter ball.

“Would someone please kill that rodent?” Gale muttered, replacing his head under his wing.

“Zapper, calm down. It’s too early to be up,” Rocket said, trying to calm the overactive Electric-type.

“Too early? I’m up earlier than this everyday, dude!” Zapper replied. “Come on, man! Get up!”

I slowly dragged myself back up again. Talon, too tired to stay balanced on the headboard, face-planted onto my pillow. Zapper laughed at that.

“Dante’s _up_ but Talon’s _down_!” the Pikachu announced.

“Zapper, why don’t you check and see if the sun’s up. If it is, then we’ll get up. If it’s not, then we’ll go back to sleep. Deal?” Rocket suggested.

“Deal, man! I’m _on it_!” Zapper cried.

The Pikachu jumped off of the bed, landing on the back of the chair that Gale was sleeping on. A quick leap to the desk and the Pikachu had made it to the window. Hopping onto the sill, he peered out excitedly.

I should’ve known something was up when that smile faded. I could see a bit of sunlight streaming through the window, so that wasn’t it. The frown was for something else…but what?

“Um… Guys? You might want to come check this out,” Zapper said shakily. “There’s something _weird_ going on _outside_ , dude.”

“Weird? Like what?” Rocket asked, slipping off the bed and slowly approaching the desk.

“Like… I don’t know! There’s stuff outside I’ve never seen before, man!” the Pikachu cried. “It’s _freaky-looking_ , man! That ain’t _natural_! It _can’t_ be!”

“What isn’t natural?” Talon asked sleepily, finally getting up.

“ _That_! Get over here and see!” Zapper barked, fur suddenly rising in fear. “That ain’t _right_ , man! It just _ain’t_!”

“I believe ‘ain’t’ isn’t a word, rodent,” Gale commented.

“Hey, no commentary from the peanut gallery, dude!” Zapper snapped, glaring at the Pidgeotto.

That caused Gale to lift his head. “Peanut gallery?” The bird looked down at Wildfire. “Did he just say that?”

“To _you_? Yeah,” Wildfire muttered, rolling onto his side.

“That includes _you_ too, lizard!” Zapper cried.

“Ignoring~!” the Charmeleon half-sang, half-yawned. He hadn’t even bothered opening his eyes since I had first woken up.

Talon, finally shaking himself awake, flapped over to the window to see what had Zapper so freaked out. Barely even glancing out the window caused his feathers to puff out. With a panicked squawk, the Spearow quickly shot over to the bed, snatched up Dune, and nearly threw him at the window. Dune yelped in surprise at being woken up so quickly.

“Look at that! _Look at that_!” Talon shrieked. “Is that normal here? _Is it_?!”

Dune looked out the window before quickly backing up, eyes wide in shock. “N-N-No! I’ve never seen _that_ before! What _is_ it?” he cried.

“Rocket, dude! Get up here! Look at this stuff!” Zapper shouted.

“You know what? I’m moving. It’s too noisy here suddenly,” Gale grumbled.

After the Pidgeotto abandoned the chair in favor of the headboard, Rocket was able to climb up to the desk (using the chair that Gale had been sleeping on) and look out the window. He was quick to backpedal as well, horribly confused.

“What is that?” he asked.

“I don’t know, man, but that _can’t_ be natural!” Zapper replied. “That’s _too messed up_ to be natural!”

“Agreed!” Talon nodded, feathers still puffed up.

“Maybe it’s normal here? I mean, none of us have been past Mt. Moon before…right?” Dune asked, looking around nervously.

“Right,” Rocket agreed. “Maybe Dune’s right.”

“That still ain’t natural, man! I mean, _look at it_!” Zapper cried. “Does that _look_ natural to you?”

“Well…no,” Rocket admitted.

“See? That _can’t_ be normal! No way, no how!” Zapper declared. “And whatever it is, it’s _deadly_! Look!”

I glanced at Wildfire and Gale, who seemed entirely unaffected by the panic that had consumed my other four Pokemon. Wildfire hadn’t even _moved_ practically! Something was up…and Wildfire had to be involved somehow.

_Don’t jump to conclusions,_ I thought. _Figure out what’s wrong first and then put the blame on Wildfire._

I slowly got up from bed, still tired. Stumbled over to the desk, I looked out it with the expectation that it was nothing serious. I was about to get a nasty dose of reality. It was pretty damn serious.

_WHAT THE HELL?!!_

There was snow. On the ground. In Kanto!

Snow wasn’t introduced until Gen 4! Yes, there were Ice-types and Ice-type attacks! Yes, there were icy places like the Seafoam Islands and Ice Path! But there wasn’t snow on the ground in towns or cities until the Gen 4 games, especially Platinum version!

Yet there it was—a bunch of snow on the ground around the Pokemon Center. It was even freshly fallen since there were no footprints in it yet. But how? There was no snow in Kanto!

That wasn’t even the worst part. There were patches of _red_ in the snow! Was that blood? What the heck was going on?!

I was quick to join Zapper in the panic frenzy he had created. If I had bothered to look behind me, I’d have noticed that Wildfire had finally gotten up from the floor. Wildfire didn’t go to check out the window, however.

He headed for the bedside table and opened a drawer, pulling out a small calendar and a can of fake snow. Gale peered over at him from the headboard, initially confused. When the Charmeleon pointed out a date on the calendar, marked with a huge red X, the Pidgeotto promptly fell on the bed, wings around his stomach as he struggled to hold in his laughter.

“Happy April Fool’s Day, Dante,” Wildfire chuckled.

Replacing the items in the drawer, Wildfire returned to his spot on the floor and curled up to get some shut-eye. He’d had his fun for the day. Now to see how long it took for Dante to figure out it was all a prank…except for the blood. That was real, of course.


	2. Bottomed Out

“Hey, Dante! Where did you put those cracker things?” Zapper asked, hopping up onto the desk where Dante sat.

Dante looked at him in confusion. _Cracker things?_

“The stuff I really like! Those crispy thin cracker things!” the Pikachu explained in annoyance.

Realization hit like a brick wall. _Oh! Those things!_ Dante indicated the cabinet by the bed.

“Thanks! You’re a real pal, dude!” Zapper declared.

Diving off the desk, the yellow mouse Pokemon pulled open the cabinet door and jumped up onto the bed frame. He saw the box that he was looking for immediately. Reaching out for it, he could just barely reach it.

“Darn it!” he growled. “Talon, help!”

“Why?” The Fearow looked up from where he was, nestled down on the bed.

“Because you’ve got massive wings and I’ve got tiny arms! Help a pal, dude! Please?” Zapper whined, wiggling his fingers pathetically to prove his lack of reach.

“I’ve got no fingers to grab with,” Talon deadpanned, frowning.

“Just pull the box down for me, would you? It’s not that hard!” Zapper pleaded.

After a moment, the large bird reluctantly rose from his makeshift nest of blankets and approached. Grabbing the edge of the box with his beak, he slowly edged it off the shelf. Zapper darted below the bird, excitedly waiting for his treat. His smile died at Talon’s next words.

“April Fool’s, Zapper.”

The Fearow pulled the box off the shelf, letting loose an avalanche of crackers from the box’s nonexistent bottom. Zapper cried out as he was buried beneath the crispy squares of snack food. Once the shower of crackers was done, Talon dropped the empty box in a trash can nearby and proceeded to snicker.

Dante nearly fell out of his chair, body shaking with silent laughter. He was suddenly happy to have in-game character muteness. Zapper couldn’t call him out on laughter since there was no sound to it.

Dune stifled his giggles behind his tiny paws. Rocket outright laughed, falling over and rocking on his shell with the force of his laughs. Wildfire fell back against a wall, pointing and laughing hysterically. Gale hid his beak behind a wing but choked laughs could be heard.

After a moment, Zapper burst free in a flurry of tossed crackers. He glared at Talon, who had returned to his ‘nest’ to laugh. The Fearow was unfazed by his friend’s glare.

“Not funny, dude! I actually wanted those!” Zapper barked, peeved. Sparks jumped from his cheeks. “I could fry you…”

“There’s another box on the bottom shelf,” Dante said between wheezed laughs.

Zapper shoved aside a bag of chips to reveal the promised box. A quick check proved it to be completely uncompromised or booby-trapped in any way, shape, or form. He clutched it possessively to his chest, glaring at everyone.

“I’m getting you back for that! All of you!” Zapper declared.

“Have fun getting _us_ , mouse,” Wildfire chuckled darkly, teeth bared in a vicious shark’s grin.

The Pikachu pulled back, fur rising in terror. He quickly turned away from Wildfire and Gale, leveling his glare at the other four.

“I’ll get you for this!” he declared once more.

He then scurried under the bed, dragging the box of his precious cracker snacks with him.

He was not seen again for the rest of the day. Talon continued to laugh regardless.


	3. Holey Water

I should’ve known right away that something was wrong when I couldn’t find **IT**. Zapper had said he would get us back for the cracker thing, even though it was Talon who performed the prank. We just witnessed it and laughed.

Wildfire and Gale were off the chopping block for…obvious reasons. That left me, Talon, Rocket, and Dune to suffer. I hadn’t thought Zapper would really go through with his threat.

Guess I was wrong…

.o.o.o.o.

“This’ll teach you to mess with my crackers and laugh!” Zapper hissed, a sharp pin glittering in his paws.

He jumped atop the desk, setting down his target. Raising the needle above his head, he glared at the target of his anger. The full moon lit up the scene, the pin shining brightly and Zapper’s eyes seeming to hold a crazed look to them.

“Payback time, Dante,” the Pikachu purred with a twisted smile.

The pin was brought down suddenly and without warning. A spray of liquid spattered across the desk’s surface, glittering in the moonlight. The pin was brought down again and again…

.o.o.o.o.

It had been a long, hard day of training. Wildfire seemed intent on killing us through overexertion than anything. If I wasn’t so scared for my life, I might’ve wondered aloud if the Charmeleon was _scared_ of facing Misty’s Gym.

As it was, though, I dared not even _think_ of doing such a thing.

We trudged back to the Cerulean City Pokemon Center, aching and exhausted and sweaty from the heat. There had to be a heat wave going on or something. That or Wildfire was trying to cook us alive without us noticing. I wouldn’t put it past him to do that to us.

Arriving in the room I had rented, my team collapsed in various places around the room. Talon rested on the bed, forming a nest out of the blankets tossed haphazardly on it. Wildfire curled up in a corner. Gale perched on a bed post, keeping close to Wildfire while also keeping away from Talon. Dune and Rocket crawled under the bed to escape the heat.

Zapper, meanwhile, disappeared under the desk. The desk I was approaching. The desk I had pulled the chair away from and plopped into. The desk that, upon closer inspection, happened to have **IT** on it.

**IT** being…my missing water bottle.

_Perfect timing,_ I thought, picking it up without hesitation.

My throat was parched from the heat. I needed a drink. The water bottle felt cool in my hand as I picked it up. Liquid relief at long last…

Sadly, it didn’t go down my throat.

It went on my pants.

All…of…it…

I didn’t initially realize what had happened. Then I tilted the bottle to the side. There were holes stabbed into the bottom of the bottle, probably made by a pin. The water pressure had kept the water in the bottle…until I pulled off the cap, releasing the pressure and sending the water splashing down onto my pants.

Zapper was roaring with laughter beneath the desk. I could hear stifled giggles and snorts from the rest of my team. Wildfire was outright laughing, not bothering to hide his amusement.

_Note to self—check water bottle before opening it,_ I thought, tossing the empty plastic bottle into the trash bin.

I got up and headed to the bathroom to change my pants. I had no idea that I was simply the first victim. Zapper wasn’t done with us yet.

Not by a long shot…


End file.
